Building Relationships With Preschool Families

In my work with preschool educators and directors, one of the most important relationships is with families. Preschool is where the education begins—but not just for the child. It’s usually a parent’s first real introduction to what it means to coauthor their kid’s educational journey.

This is where parents learn the boundaries, make missteps, and figure out, in real time, what it looks like to let go a little while still staying deeply involved. It’s a negotiation, and partnership with the preschool director and teachers is essential to laying the foundation for a positive educational experience.

The Importance of Director-Parent Relationships

From my experience, research, and work with preschool directors, the relationship between parents and these directors is the foundation for the rest of the school experience. This is why I pay attention to how preschools handle the beginning of the year, going beyond the traditional back-to-school night—one night isn’t enough for families to understand child development, school philosophy, and ultimately how to partner rather than hover. Parent education events help to build trust, connection, and, most important, community—the kind that sustains a preschool’s culture long after the first day of school drop-off. After all, when a child joins a preschool community, their family joins it too.

This is part of the work that I engage in with preschools directly: guiding these conversations in ways that are attuned to identity, to the changing landscape of family life, and to the demands of parenting in an increasingly digitized world. Parent education can’t be static—it has to evolve at the same pace as the families it’s meant to serve.

Director-Parent Conversations

October is typically when I begin leading conversations with preschools on the importance of this partnership. October is a sweet spot because a month of school has gone by, and it’s right before preschools go into the bustle of Halloween and the holiday season. This month is also when families may be feeling more anxious about how they get involved.

When I engage in parent-education sessions, it begins with asking parents to think beyond drop-off and pick-up. I ask parents a simple question: “How do you want to be involved in this school community?” By asking this, I’m inquiring about how they want to be integrated beyond the periphery. What would it look like to help build a sense of belonging that they want their child to feel here, too?

Through a series of engaging activities, parents aren’t just sitting and listening. Instead, it’s interactive, where they move around, connect, and reflect on what the group has generated. Sessions include partner conversations and small group listening circles, where parents can introduce themselves to someone new whom they didn’t come with and respond to prompts that go beyond just small talk about the age of their child. I also include affirmation and brainstorming exercises, followed by a gallery walk that gives families space to take in ideas of others.

Families experience what successful adjustment looks like, including routines, moments of joy, points of tension, and building relationships with teachers and their peers. And, just as important, I turn the question back to the adults by asking, “How are you adjusting to this transition? As a parent and as a family?” These questions are answered in a popcorn style within the partners and small group circles. Through it all, at every encounter, the parent empathy muscle is being built, and this helps to shape healthy school communities.

For directors who are considering parent education, or those who’ve already begun to make it a regular practice, there are so many benefits, one being the structure itself. Intentionality builds strong relationships, and curating time for families to come together to learn, grow, and reflect with each other underscores why the home and school partnership is essential. In order to build community, you need to make space for it. When you do, this is what carries families through the school year—not just the first few weeks.

Preschool goes by so fast. Parents who learn to engage in this way not only co-create a community where their child thrives, but also walk away better equipped to make informed choices about the next level of education their child matriculates to.

Allie Ludwig, director of Neighborhood School in Los Angeles, shared what a real partnership with families looks like-day-to-day, beyond good communication. Ludwig said, “One of the main reasons that we offer parent education is because we really want everyone to be on the same page about certain topics. We only have some of these kids at school for three hours a day, so if the bridge between school and home isn’t consistent, if they aren’t using the same language, they aren’t reinforcing the same values or lessons, then it makes it much harder for certain things to stick.”

As more and more preschools offer parent education to their families, not only does it create a tight-knit community, but it is helpful when challenging moments happen—disagreements or bumps in the road between parents or the administration. The idea is that through these events, pathways for open communication are offered, as well as alignment of expectations and values.

Ludwig said, “We also see so much community between the families themselves, which is a huge help when conflict might arise between children in a class. Because the families trust us and trust each other, they know that everyone is just doing their best for the kids, and it makes those conversations go much smoother.”

Families and preschools work together to create an optimal learning environment for children. Parents play a pivotal role in helping their child settle in during those first few weeks and beyond, and preschool educators can support parents in doing that.