No Child Left Behind
No Child Left Behind, winner of the contest for the most overrated buzzword or idea, is a two-time victor -- for all the wrong reasons. It appears that those surveyed actively dislike the measure, and use much of their precious downtime to disparage it with colleagues. Many, many other topics, however, are reviewed in the privacy of the teachers' lounge -- student behavior, assessments, contract negotiations, movies, babies, morale. The list is long and includes "Don't go there." But we did, if only to entertain.
The following is a teachers' lounge transcript, containing "the hottest topics" as described by survey respondents.
Teacher A: How about our principal's shenanigans last night on American Idol?
Teacher B: I liked the part where he sang about menopause and the coffee flavor of the day.
Teacher C: Where do you think he got those wigs?
Teacher B: From the bull-headed superintendent after his surgery, is my guess.
Teacher A: Now, that was some inquiry-based instruction! Kind of a dramatic answer to the question "How do we sneak science into the curriculum?" but well worth the parents suing...
Teacher B: Of course, the school calendar is a mess. They really should have moved the paperwork before the procedure.
Teacher A: Bozo students.
Teacher C: Well, it beats their parents' bizarre antics, and it was more realistic than Grey's Anatomy.
Teacher B: Maybe, but we still need more funding, and I think I have a remediation plan -- for our bodies and brains! How about three or four of us Democrats pounding the heck out of our one Republican to show folks that we are tired of scripted teaching?
Teacher A: Wow, talk about your retirement incentives. I'm in.