Building School Culture Through One-on-One Conversations

School leadership is chaotic—we juggle rosters, parent concerns, staffing gaps, curriculum reviews. But amid all that noise, there’s one practice I keep returning to because of how quietly powerful it is: regular, intentional one-on-one conversations with staff. These conversations are consistent check-ins that build connection, surface insights, and support professional growth—they are not performance reviews or crisis debriefs.

It sounds simple—and it is—but the impact is anything but. These conversations have helped me preempt issues, develop emerging leaders, and strengthen our school culture. They don’t need a budget, a new platform, or a professional development day. They just need your time, your presence, and the belief that relationships are a leadership strategy, not a soft skill.

Most teachers don’t need bells and whistles, they need to feel seen. Heard. Valued. One-on-ones make that happen.

How I make one-on-ones work

I’m a realist—admin calendars are packed. But with a bit of structure and intention, one-on-ones can be both sustainable and impactful. Here’s what works for me:

• Frequency: Once or twice a term for each staff member. More often for early-career teachers or those needing extra support.
• Length: 20–30 minutes, max.
• Format: In person, in a neutral space (not my office, if I can avoid it), distraction-free. A quick coffee or tea after school works well. Sometimes it’s a walk-and-talk—flexibility helps when managing large teams.

The key is consistency, not perfection. I block time in my calendar as early in the term as I can and shift as needed. If I cancel, I always reschedule—it signals that this time matters.

What we talk about: The questions that open doors

I like to keep the tone informal but focused. I usually anchor the conversation with three open-ended questions inspired by the coaching work of Michael Bungay Stanier:

1. How are you, really?
2. What’s been a recent win or challenge in your teaching?
3. Is there anything you need from me right now?

These questions seem basic, but they open doors. Sometimes the conversation is a quiet vent. Sometimes it’s a brilliant idea. Either way, it’s a real-time pulse check I can’t get from meetings or emails.

Occasionally, I’ll throw in a bonus question like this: “If you had a magic wand, what’s one thing you’d change about how we’re running things?”

This invites creativity or potentially uncovers frustrations before they escalate.

After each meeting, I jot down a few bullet points, nothing formal, just enough to jog my memory. That helps me follow up on what matters to them, whether it’s a resource they asked for or checking in on a concern they raised. That kind of quiet follow-through builds trust over time.

Differentiating conversations by experience level

Not every staff member needs the same kind of conversation. Early-career teachers often need more structure. We talk about lesson planning, classroom management, communicating with parents—and I focus on building confidence and creating a safe space to ask questions.

Experienced teachers usually bring a different energy. We unpack instructional strategies, leadership growth, or persistent pain points that haven’t had airtime elsewhere. These are often the richest conversations—they’re full of insights but also human.

I also use these chats to spot emerging leaders. I pay attention to how people frame problems: Are they student-focused? Systems-aware? Are they coaching others already, even informally? These are the people I start to flag for leadership pathways.

Building School Culture Through Conversations

School culture doesn’t live in policies or frameworks. It lives in how people feel at work each day—safe, valued, included, and heard.

One-on-one conversations help build that culture. They create psychological safety. They show staff that their perspective matters, and that leadership is listening as a matter of course—not just when things go wrong.

One conversation that sticks with me from earlier in my career came from a staff member who said our faculty meetings felt rushed and unclear. No one had said it before, but many had likely felt it. That feedback led me to restructure meetings to include fewer agenda points and more collaboration time. Engagement shifted quickly.

These chats aren’t about managing people, they’re about connecting with them. And when people feel heard, they’re more likely to stay present, collaborate willingly, and be innovative.

But let’s be clear: One-on-ones aren’t a silver bullet. They won’t fix broken systems, and if they’re inconsistent, rushed, or shallow, they can backfire. Staff will smell inauthenticity a mile away.

This only works when you bring curiosity, presence, and follow-through. It’s not about having the perfect script, it’s about showing up, listening properly, and caring enough to follow through.

Leadership can feel overwhelming; the to-do list certainly feels like it never ends. But choosing to embed regular one-on-ones into my rhythm has had more impact than almost anything else I’ve done.

So, as you look ahead to the year to come, ask yourself these questions:

• Who on my team needs to be heard right now?
• What might shift if I made the time to truly listen?

You might be surprised at what opens up—not just in them, but in you.