How Principals Can Lead Successful Staff Mediations

As a school leader, I strive to make sure that staffers can collaborate, communicate, and coexist in a healthy and productive fashion. That said, occasional conflicts are a part of any professional setting, even among a tight-knit group of colleagues.

I’ve developed a mediation strategy that’s helped immensely in repairing frayed relationships. Of course, not all mediations immediately pay off, and some wounds run deeper than others. But when conflicts arise, school leaders can better retain staff and maintain a supportive educational environment by sticking to three steps:

1. Meet individually with each involved staff member to clarify their needs and goals while setting the stage for mediation.
2. Hold a mediation session where the conversation focuses on the future instead of rehashing the past.
3. Follow up with both parties to ensure that they hold true to their commitments from the mediation session.

Recently, I led a mediation between a teacher and teaching assistant who work together in a special education classroom. Their relationship had soured; the teacher felt that the teaching assistant was undermining him, while the teaching assistant felt that the teacher was micromanaging her and not allowing her to utilize her skills. Both staff members had separately asked for assistance, and it was clear that they were no longer communicating in a productive fashion.

Below, I’ve laid out my three-step mediation strategy in more detail, including how it helped the teacher and teaching assistant patch up their working relationship.

Step One: The Pre-Meet

The first step in facilitating a successful staff-to-staff mediation is to carve out time for each individual. During these individualized meetings, I try to determine the specific needs that must be met in order to achieve a healthy mediation session and, ultimately, a positive outcome.

During the one-on-one meetings, I serve as a co-strategist. I give staff members an opportunity to voice the full extent of their concerns and unpack prior interactions or series of events. This way, staffers can wrap their heads around the past and then move the dialogue toward their desired outcomes. How can we arrive at those desired outcomes? I like to think of the pre-mediation conversations as a dress rehearsal of sorts.

In the example case of the teacher and teaching assistant, I met with each person individually. In our one-on-one meetings, both individuals separately agreed with the characterization that they once had a thriving relationship. They also recognized that recently, their interactions were having a negative impact on students.

When I felt that each staffer was sufficiently ready for a full meeting, I went over the goals and parameters of a combined mediation session. Each party agreed to keep the conversation centered on repairing their relationship by establishing new communication norms in their classroom. I set up a mediation for later that day.

Step Two: Future-Focused Mediation

During the actual mediation session, it’s important for the conversation to focus on the future. I like to ask, “What are we able to commit to today? And from now on?”

It’s easy to fall into old arguments—minor disagreements and disputes around what actually happened—during mediation. I discourage those quarrels by pointing out that we went over the past during our one-on-ones. It might seem satisfying to persuade someone else to subscribe to a specific version of events, but that satisfaction is rarely fulfilled the way people expect. Even if a staffer convinces another staffer that their retelling is true and correct, they’re still using valuable time that’s much better spent agreeing to terms for moving forward.

Mediation is all about what each party needs and what they’ll bring to the table to make things right. The school leader/facilitator puts these actions in writing to serve as a reminder of what was agreed upon and what each party is responsible for after they exit the discussion.

When I held a mediation session between the teacher and teaching assistant, I made sure to do so at a neutral location (my office). I set the stage by explaining the similar sentiments that both parties expressed to me during our one-on-ones. Then each person shared what they would commit to doing in the spirit of restoring their working relationship. I added a few recommendations, including frequent check-ins with one another to ensure that they’re staying on the same page about how they’re interacting with students and conducting lessons.

Step Three: Follow-Through

Within a few days of the mediation, I always follow up with both parties. My goal is to validate the work everyone put in during our meeting.

In person, I opt for quick check-ins—are participants carrying out their commitments? Do they feel that the outcome of our meeting was positive? For serious matters, be sure to make time for a formal sit-down conversation. Additionally, an email thanking everyone for their participation creates another opportunity to restate our collective expectations moving forward. I prefer to include everyone in the same email, especially if things are proceeding well.

If mediation does not yield a positive result, school leaders should proceed to other options. If one person still seems stuck, individual coaching might be appropriate. There are also instances where a second mediation is necessary, but only with a tangible shift in the tone: a reiteration of expectations and commitments, and an added seriousness so that all parties are aware of their responsibilities.

Thankfully, the meeting between our teacher and teaching assistant had an immediate, positive impact. Their communication improved, and the tension in their classroom eased. Students seemed happy to have their teachers back to their regular, happy, productive forms again. I sent both participants a note thanking them for our conversation and their mutual dedication to our students.