Classroom Management Rooted in Patience, Planning, and Connection

Classroom management is an essential part of every teacher’s day. It is our responsibility to work toward creating an environment where students can learn without unnecessary distractions. In my experience as a teacher and an administrator who observes many classrooms each year, however, it’s not the teachers who appear to have the most visible control who have the most effective classroom management; instead, the most successful classrooms are led by teachers who model patience, invest in building relationships with students, and plan engaging and inclusive lessons.

These educators create calm, focused communities where students are seen, are supported, and have an environment to help them thrive.

Modeling patience

Patience may be the most underrated skill in effective classroom management. Students often mirror the emotional energy of the adults around them. When we practice patience, especially in moments of frustration or disruption, we are modeling self-regulation, emotional maturity, and respect for others.

When a student is upset or frustrated, they need a calm adult to help begin to de-escalate the situation. Meeting students calmly and with respect, especially when they are upset, distracted, off-task, etc., helps to lower the temperature and model patience and care. When a student raises their voice, I lower mine and begin with a question instead of a demand or accusation.

Having patience means that teachers should not ignore issues or let things slide, but instead correct behavior calmly and with the understanding that students are humans and will make human mistakes. Students will misplace materials, interrupt, talk over each other, forget their homework, and more. They will make mistakes—just like adults.

When those moments are treated with the same grace and understanding that we offer our colleagues and friends, we show students that they are trusted members of our learning community, and they’re more likely to rise to the expectations that are set for them.

When I find myself losing my patience, first I ask myself, is this actually a problem or is it just annoying me? Often it is just annoying me, and I move on; however, if it is a problem that needs to be addressed for learning or safety, I approach the student individually and begin working through a solution with them.

Building relationships

One of the most powerful tools a teacher can use to manage behavior and create a positive classroom community is developing connections. Getting to know students as individuals and facilitating opportunities for them to get to know each other help to foster mutual respect and belonging and create an environment where students feel valued and want to be positive members of the community.

These relationships also provide teachers insight into the “why” behind behavior and help build the trust required for students to share their why. Understanding the context allows us to support them while redirecting their behaviors and maintain a positive learning community.

There are many ways to create a positive classroom community, and what works best can depend on the students in your classroom each year and their dynamic. Some things that have worked over time for me are celebrating each other’s successes, sending positive emails home directly to students and copying their parents, attending students’ sporting events or arts performances, using transition time before and after class to have a quick one-on-one conversation with students, and providing opportunities in class to have whole group and small group discussions that ask students to relate content to themselves.

Creating Engaging lessons

Early in my career a mentor told me, “The best classroom management is a great lesson.” That advice has proven true throughout my work. When students are engaged and invested in the content and process of learning, they are far less likely to disrupt the learning of others and more likely to devote their focus to the content.

Thoughtful planning means designing lessons that boost engagement in the classroom and include differentiation, clear routines, frequent and orderly transitions, movement breaks, developmentally appropriate content, and opportunities for students to see themselves in the curriculum.

Patience, connection, and engaging instruction don’t eliminate the need for structure. Classrooms need clear expectations and consistent routines to run smoothly. In my own classroom, I am deliberate about only creating rules that I can and am willing to enforce fairly and consistently.

Students thrive with boundaries and clear consequences when they have stepped outside of those boundaries. Modeling expectations, practicing routines, and holding firm to consistent guidelines help students to see that everyone is being treated fairly and that rules and expectations are in place to benefit their learning.

When students or teachers fall short of expectations, there should be room for apologies and fresh starts. I make mistakes, as do students. When I make a mistake, from simply misspelling a word on the board to marking a correct answer incorrect on a test by accident, I apologize. I model admitting when I am wrong and saying I am sorry, and it is an expectation that students do the same. As they practice taking ownership of small mistakes, it becomes easier for students to admit to larger mistakes because they trust that a misstep will not break the relationship they have in our community.

Structure and flexibility are not opposite; they work together to create a respectful and responsive learning environment. Effective classroom management is not about behavior charts or fancy systems, it is a mindset that begins with seeing students as humans first and remembering that as humans we all make mistakes.

When I lead with patience, plan with purpose, and prioritize connection in my classroom, I find that I spend less time correcting behavior and more time enjoying the community of learners in my classroom.