How School Leaders Can Connect With Students Through Extracurricular Activities

As an assistant principal, I have to be an instructional leader and a disciplinarian, all while overseeing numerous systems and structures that keep my school running smoothly. These roles and responsibilities take up a large part of my day. If I’m not intentional, I can easily miss out on opportunities to connect with students outside of academics and discipline. After realizing that I mainly communicated with students about behavior issues, I decided to look for other ways to build relationships with them.

This reactive approach to relationship building with students is pretty common for many public school assistant principals. Rather than waiting for an issue or a concern to prompt an interaction with a student, I decided to build a positive pathway to meeting them. I took the first step by partnering with a local nonprofit to establish an after-school golf club. The CitySwing Foundation taught our students the game of golf and provided a platform for me to connect with the kids during an extracurricular activity.

This process taught me three important lessons:

1. It really is true that students only care what you know once they know you care.
2. Students want a positive rapport with their administrators.
3. Students want to engage in extracurricular activities.

I was inspired by my principal, Kenneth Nance, to start a golf club for students. In addition to leading a large middle school, he spends Saturday mornings coaching our girls’ basketball team. His commitment to relationship building on the basketball court outside school hours motivated me to lead a sports-related extracurricular activity.

We wanted to start small, so I partnered with three golf experts from the foundation and limited student participation to 20 seventh graders. My seventh-grade counselor helped me select a diverse group of students who were not already acquainted. We intentionally did not base our decisions on grades or behavior. We were aiming to create a Breakfast Club type of group.

The counselor and I met with these students and personally invited them to participate in the optional activity. After we explained how it would work, they were all in.

Logistics

The Golf Club ran on Tuesday afternoons from 3:30 until 5:30 for nine weeks. From 3:30 to 3:45, students ate a snack I purchased based on their vote. That snack could be pizza, wings, sub sandwiches, ice cream, etc. From 3:45 to 4:15, students participated in an engaging golf curriculum created by the foundation and facilitated by the golf coaches, Krislyn Mossman and Kendall Dunovant. From 4:15 to 5:20, students practiced playing golf with several games and simulators. Lastly, from 5:20 to 5:30, students prepared to board their activity bus to go home.

Establishing a golf club required me to restructure my daily administrative duties. For example, on Tuesday afternoons, I ensured that there was coverage for my afternoon dismissal location. This allowed me to be fully present with all 20 students from 3:30 until 5:30. I gave students the snack and used snack time to chat about their day. I actively listened to everything they were willing to share, asked questions to learn more about them as individuals, and thanked them for sharing. I also communicated to the students that the golf club was a family. I encouraged the students to get to know one another and to be respectful and kind to one another.

After snack time, because I wanted to learn alongside the students, I actively participated in the golf curriculum, which was full of interactive games and hands-on activities that reinforced the history and rules of golf. I told the students that I had never played golf and was also learning the game. I encouraged the students to be receptive to learning new skills. I also intentionally cheered the students on when they were playing. I commended them for their efforts and positive attitudes and for following the golf coaches’ directions. This allowed the students to see me differently because they knew me as Dr. Caballero, the disciplinarian, not the coach, cheerleader, and mentor.

The students were highly receptive to the golf curriculum. I attribute this to my attitude when engaging the students and the golf coaches’ cheerful, engaging, and upbeat personalities. The golf coaches also did an outstanding job reinforcing student engagement and attendance. They awarded students stickers and allowed them to purchase prizes and treats from their mobile golf shop. The golf club was a success because the golf coaches and I collaboratively created a safe space that met students’ social and emotional needs while educating them about the sport.

What I Learned

Using a student survey, I learned that the students bought into the golf club because I told them that it would mean the world to me if they attended. Ultimately, this message told them that I sincerely wanted to get to know them and that I cared. During the nine weeks, the students approached me in the hallways about snack requests and told me about their weekend or day. They also looked forward to Tuesdays and talking with me.

Before leading the golf club, I’d always thought I did an excellent job expressing my genuine care for students. Through this experience, however, I learned the power of consistently and explicitly telling students that I love, like, and care about them. I learned the power of food. Pizza, chips, and other snacks motivated the students. The snacks were inexpensive, and the return on investment (healthy rapport with students) was excellent. Eating food together also allowed us to laugh, talk, and have fun, which are critical ingredients for relationship building.

I also learned that many students want to engage in extracurricular activities but may not always be selected to participate; yet when asked, they will rise to the occasion and embrace the opportunity. All 20 students who participated in the club indicated by survey that they enjoyed the experience, so I plan to continue it this year with the same group of students focusing on playing golf on the golf course.

Being an assistant principal is demanding, but I encourage you to consider leading an after-school activity to build positive relationships with students proactively. I promise that the return on investment will be worth your time and effort.