Guiding Preschoolers to Create Shared Classroom Norms

In early childhood classrooms, routines and rules are often introduced as a way to keep things running smoothly. Yet this overlooks a deeper opportunity: helping young children understand their responsibility to one another and their learning environment. When children cocreate classroom norms, they don’t just follow rules; they begin to see themselves as active participants in shaping the community they belong to.

This approach moves beyond “classroom management” and into relationship-building. Student-created classroom agreements give children a voice, foster belonging, and encourage accountability in developmentally appropriate ways. Just as important, these agreements remind adults that classroom culture isn’t something imposed from above; it’s something built together.

WHY RESPONSIBILITY COMES BEFORE FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS

When we hand down rules like “No shouting” or “No running inside,” children might follow them for a while, but they don’t always understand why those rules matter. When we invite children to help create shared agreements instead, the tone shifts. Together, you might decide on norms like “We use kind voices” or “We keep our bodies safe inside.” Suddenly, it’s not about control, it’s about care.

These kinds of conversations build ownership and responsibility. Children start to see that their choices shape the classroom community. For example, when they help write an agreement such as “We take care of our materials,” they’re more likely to follow through because it’s their idea.

Research shows that giving children agency, the chance to make choices and contribute meaningfully, is key to developing self-regulation and social awareness. When children co-construct classroom norms, they’re not just memorizing rules; they’re practicing shared responsibility.

You’ll see these lessons spill into life outside the classroom, too. A child who helps care for classroom plants might remember to water the garden at home. A child who helps make the “Everyone is welcome” agreement might be the first to invite a new neighbor to play. These moments teach children that responsibility doesn’t stop at the classroom door; it’s part of being a kind, connected member of any community.

How to Create Shared Classroom norms

Use storytelling as a launchpad. Stories are a great tool for young children to explore ideas like kindness, fairness, and respect. Picture books open the door to meaningful conversations in ways that feel natural and familiar. For example, What If Everybody Did That?, by Ellen Javernick, shows how small choices, like littering or interrupting, can add up to big problems, helping children think about why their actions matter. You can extend this with role-play using puppets or a co-teacher to model what happens when someone interrupts and how it feels when others don’t get a turn to speak. All Are Welcome, by Alexandra Penfold, illustrated by Suzanne Kaufman, celebrates a classroom where everyone is included and cared for, inviting children to share how they can make sure everyone feels welcome.

When classroom agreements are grounded in stories and playful modeling, children begin to see what kindness, fairness, and respect look like and how those values can come to life in their own classroom.

Engage children in circle-time conversations. Once the stage is set, circle time provides a space for children to voice ideas and make decisions together. Open-ended prompts guide the conversation without dictating outcomes:

• “How do we know someone is listening to us?”
• “What makes a good friend?”
• “What can we do if someone feels left out?”
• “What should we do when it’s hard to wait our turn?”

These questions invite children to reflect on their experiences and contribute language that becomes the foundation for classroom agreements. The process itself teaches democratic decision-making, turn-taking, and respectful listening.

For example, after discussing “What makes a good friend?” children might share ideas like “We use kind words” or “We help when someone is sad.” The teacher can then guide the group to turn those ideas into a simple shared agreement such as, “In our classroom, we speak kindly and help one another.” Writing or illustrating the agreement together helps children see their words come to life and reinforces that the classroom belongs to everyone.

Make agreements visible to prereaders. Since most early learners are prereaders, agreements must be made accessible in ways they can use and revisit. Try these:

• Child-created drawings that illustrate agreed-upon behaviors
• Photographs of children modeling the agreements (e.g., “gentle hands,” “listening ears”)
• Simple icons or visuals that represent shared values, such as a heart for kindness or hands for helping

Bring agreements to life through play. When children see their own ideas represented visually, the agreements feel like theirs. Posting them at child height also makes them tangible and actionable, rather than abstract.

Young children learn best through play. Role-playing and puppet scenarios offer developmentally appropriate ways to practice the agreements in low-stakes settings.

For example, a puppet might refuse to share blocks, prompting children to brainstorm what the classroom agreements suggest. Or a role-play might involve a child pretending to be left out of a game, with the group practicing how to include them. These playful rehearsals give children the tools to respond in real time when conflicts or challenges arise. When practice is embedded into play, agreements shift from being words on a wall to living tools for navigating daily interactions.

Revise and revisit together. Classroom culture is not static, and neither should the agreements be. Revisiting them regularly keeps the commitments fresh and relevant. Circle time can be a space to ask, “Are our agreements working? Do we need to add something new?”

This ongoing process models flexibility and growth. It shows children that responsibility is not about perfection, but about continually trying, reflecting, and adjusting. It also reinforces the message that every member of the class has a voice in how the community evolves.

Celebrate collective responsibility. Acknowledging children’s contributions reinforces the value of shared responsibility. Instead of rewards, the focus is on recognition, such as saying, “Our agreements helped everyone enjoy center time today” or “I noticed how you remembered to include a friend who was waiting to play.” These small moments of acknowledgment emphasize that norms aren’t about punishment or compliance; they’re about creating a community where everyone belongs.

Cocreating classroom norms is more than a strategy for managing behavior. It’s a practice that nurtures responsibility and shared ownership among even the youngest learners. When children help shape the agreements that guide their days, they see themselves as contributors to a community, not just participants in it.

By shifting from following directions to responsibility, educators can transform classroom culture into a space where children learn not only academic skills but also the habits of kindness, cooperation, and accountability that sustain a thriving community.