How to Practice Active Listening as a School Leader

As a district leader for elementary principals, I’ve learned how important active listening is, but if you’re a district leader or principal, you probably don’t have time for a deep dive into all the TL;DR articles, which is why I’m going to summarize why active listening is important, and the steps I’ve taken to grow as an active listener.

I’ll begin with some examples from the field that I encountered just this year, which prompted me to think about my own listening skills and practices.

Active Listening Starts with Listening

One of my priorities this year has been increasing attendance at the elementary level. At one meeting, a principal introduced the concept and then asked the team their thoughts on next steps. But when the teachers were speaking, the principal would often interrupt and talk over them. Other times, the principal would make affirmative sounds and loudly type notes on the keyboard. There was no eye contact and very little teacher-to-teacher interaction. The interactions were all principal-led.

Another district leader came to me with major concerns about a principal. I quickly set up a meeting with the principal and the other leader with the goal of clearing the air and hopefully coming to a mutual understanding. After I introduced the situation, I let the other leader outline the concerns. At least, this is what should have happened. Instead, the principal continually interrupted the leader, putting a hand in the air as a “stop” motion and stating, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” As the supervisor, I eventually had to intervene so that the leader had the opportunity to speak without interruption.

Think about it: Have you ever been in a meeting where something similar happened?

Why Active Listening Is Important

The why is simply stated: When you practice active listening, not surprisingly, your team and teachers feel heard. Feeling heard leads to feeling valued, which leads to more trust. When you listen in a way that allows you to understand, it can lead to better decision-making—because all angles are considered before moving forward.

Now for the how.

How to Become an Active Listener

At your next meeting, try not to speak unless necessary. Throw out a problem of practice, an item of concern, or just an item on the agenda. Ask an eager participant their thoughts, and listen to understand. Try asking open-ended questions with no judgment attached. Examples include “Tell me more” and “Why is this the best course of action?” Any question that can be answered with a simple yes or no is off the table during this first experiment.

Look around the table at the participants. Check out the body language. Is someone sitting there with their arms crossed? Ask them their opinions next, and ask questions to understand. Come at it from a curiosity perspective—stay curious and ask the right questions to find out more.

Eye contact is important. Stop multitasking. Take notes in your notebook if you must, but get off any electronic devices. Yes, this includes your phone. Be present and set the tone for the rest of your meeting participants. In fact, add “be present” to your meeting norms for another daily reminder.

Once someone has finished speaking, summarize what they have said in your own words. Seek confirmation from the participant that what you heard is correct, and ask if there is anything else they would like to add or change.

Don’t be afraid of thoughtful pauses. Think about the importance of wait time in the classroom, and how waiting can lead to more thoughtful responses from students because they have time to process. Although it may feel awkward for you, participants may prefer taking a moment to deeply process the question or problem being discussed.

To help you remember to listen more during meetings, think of the acronym WAIT. While helpful on its own as a reminder, WAIT stands for “Why am I talking?” Think it through before responding during a meeting. See what happens when you sit back and listen instead of always having a response formulating. Challenge yourself to only speak unless it’s necessary to further the conversation.

One other technique that you can try is—gasp!—recording yourself (with participants’ permission, of course). Take out your phone, put it out of arm’s reach so you aren’t tempted to interact with it, get permission from your participants, and record yourself facilitating the meeting. Note how many times you interrupt or talk over someone. Did you strive for equal airtime among participants, or were you the star of the show? Note thoughtful pauses. Look for your body language and any nonverbal gestures that you unknowingly make. Although this can be uncomfortable (and maybe even shocking!), it’s helpful to see yourself from an outsider’s perspective. Being reflective helps you to become a better listener overall.

Recording yourself also has a secondary benefit. When you make it clear that you are striving to improve your leadership ability, your teachers and colleagues will naturally be curious and may follow suit. Consider telling trusted colleagues that this is a personal growth challenge that you are embarking upon. Ask for their support and feedback during the process. They can help become accountability partners during your journey to become a better listener.

For us as leaders, it’s important to never stop learning and growing. We are role models for students and role models for our school community. The importance of active listening cannot be overstated—it is a vital part of being a stronger leader.