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English teacher in China, studying the master's degree in Walden

Hi Laura Thanks for your

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Hi Laura
Thanks for your suggestions and I agree it seems a fight without guns to make the teens away from the computer! I have tried to turn off my TV and I think it was a good experience for when I wanted to watch TV, I read some magazines , or books or did some housework instead. I thought I wasted too much time in it. But to my son, problems are still there. In the last two weeks, I did pull the wire out (which is on the wall outside our department with one room one wire). He did not know it was I who did it. He thought it was the problem of the IT centre and he complained and stayed in his room restless. I made it work later, and he went on with the games !
And he announced he would not go home this weekend because the internet always failed to work and he really did it! Last night he did not go home, without calling me. I saw him this morning in his classroom, not wanting to talk to me. I talked to his headteacher last week, and his teacher did a survey and found that no boys were free from the games during the weekend. They had a class meeting to talk about this and the teacher sent a letter to ask all the parents to monitor the use of the internet of the kids and then he decided to escape from my watch.
One of my friends told me that i should let my son free because he should learn to control himself and arrange his own time. At first, I thought it was right. But after one month, my boy cannot live without his games! I could not just let it be what it is, for if I do nothing, I cannot imagine what will happen. Time is too precious and he should learn how to use it to do something more meaningful.
I have found him a good book and since he will ignore anything I do, I will ask his teacher to give him the book. I will control myself and try my best to change him.
It is a wonderful place here to share my struggle and get your support.

Director, Antioch Center for School Renewal

Hi Maryao- I've been there

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Hi Maryao-
I've been there and you're right, it's quite the ordeal getting between a teen and his (or her) device! We had some luck when we took a non-device-filled moment to talk about the "big picture" we all had for what we wanted our vacation to look like before a break. We all agreed that our screens and devices weren't something we wanted to give up, but that we ALL needed help managing them. We settled on the language "be with the people you're with" as a reminder we'd give each other when it came time to get off the screens. We also turned some of it into a game- the first person to ask for screen time had to do the dishes/ take the dog out/ sweep under the sofa (all the jobs we all hate to do). I wonder if you could make the computer removal part of something positive like a room redecoration or a system upgrade? (Or if you could leave it, but just turn off the wifi for longer periods through the day?)

Good luck with this. Come back and let us know how it went!

English teacher in China, studying the master's degree in Walden

I am extremely frustrated

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I am extremely frustrated with my son, a tenth-grade student who cannot leave his computers during the weekend. The words Do As I Do atrracts me to read your article and i agree that although I do not use my computer to play games but I will always turn TV on the moment I enter the house---I will try to model to him but the first thing is to fix a time for devices and I want to take the computer away from his bedroom although I can imagine his madness. To parent a teen is a challenging job and I have asked help from his teacher. Hope it can work.

Hi there! This is my first

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Hi there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job! ZetsUrger

Director, Antioch Center for School Renewal

This lovely short video,

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This lovely short video, Discconect to Connect (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ae0tzVo8Fw) drives this point home in a really visceral way. I'd love to see schools link to it on websites, and Facebook feeds, and run it on a loop during back-to-school nights. Learning to use the tool- instead of letting the tool use you- is a big part of the process of growing up. I know I struggle with it at times!

I'd also really encourage parents to stay on top of which apps their kids have on their devices and what's going on on their machines- check the history, the cache, etc. Draw your kid's attention to controversy on your own feeds- what makes you frustrated or angry about the ways people behave online? How do you respond when you're frustrated? When someone else crosses a line? Modeling what you want to see goes a looooong way, doesn't it?

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