Tee Time: Learning to Golf at Sea

Play on Land and Sea:

Vacationers can play championship courses on the ship simulator or on an excursion with tips from a pro.

Credit: Courtesy of Elite Golf Cruises

Taking a cruise in these days of multitasking (or should that be multibasking?) is a lot more than exotic destinations and three-star food. Between ports, most cruise ships offer enrichment programs, with everything from lectures on health to how to cook a meal you just finished chewing an hour ago to a former astronaut's views of the world, now that he's back on it.

As an inveterate cruiser and ever hopeful self-improver, I've learned many things while at sea, including the secret of successful romance novels (which I'm afraid I can't tell you). But somehow, on sea or land, I never learned to play golf. I would watch golfers drive balls off the stern of the ship into the ocean, but my only thought was, "I can hit into the water without lessons, thank you very much."

Still, my father had been an avid golfer, and, because most of my family plays the game, I wanted to learn the fundamentals. A little searching turned up information about a golf-instruction program offered by Celebrity Cruises. No more drives off the stern, though -- Celebrity provides state-of-the-art golf simulators that enable golfers to virtually play world-championship courses. It works like this: The ball is put on a special tee about 15 feet from a screen depicting a fairway. Drive into the screen, and a virtual ball sails on from where the real ball hits it.

I was thrilled. Aboard the SS Millennium, I signed up for lessons with guest pro Perry Lancianese, director of golf for the Palm Beach Golf and Country Club. While not learning to play golf, and between mounting raids on shipboard buffets, I was able to visit Martinique, St. Thomas, San Juan, and Key West. Not the worst way to study a new subject.

At his first clinic, Lancianese talked about the importance of the grip. He's been a golf professional for twenty-five years, and, he says, he's still working on perfecting his grip. Excuse me? I'm going to learn what in seven days? He distributed special teaching clubs with notches to guide our thumbs to the correct position. Apparently, however, these clubs were flawed -- there are only two indentations, and I am all thumbs.

Finally sorting out my digits, I tackled the simulator. After about twenty minutes, I hit a 125-yard shot on a par 3 "hole" -- my ball landed 8 feet from the pin. Two thoughts hit me simultaneously: "Get to a real golf course as soon as possible" and "Quit now, while you're ahead."

The golf lessons aboard the Millennium are about the same price as you'd pay on land -- $30 to $90 for a one-hour lesson -- but total cruising costs are a lot less than you might expect. Just don't let brochure prices make you nervous: Like the sticker price on a new car, those numbers are often just starting points. There are deals to be had, and a good travel agent will find them for you. (For instance, Holland America, on selected cruises, offers teachers special values.)

On average, you can figure $499 for a seven-day Caribbean cruise. Although these tropical cruises operate year-round, many ships head to Alaska in the summer. For northbound trips, plan on starting in the low $500s. (If you want an actual from-the-cabin view of the water you're sailing on, of course, you'll spend a bit more.) All prices are per person and include meals, entertainment, and enrichment programs. Not all lines and ships offer golf lessons, of course, but almost all cruises these days let you arrive home knowing more about something than you knew when you set out.

Excited about my new skills on the virtual links, I quickly set up a round of golf with my son. We teed off at a public course flanked by private homes. Keeping my lessons in mind, I went into a slow, studied backswing. Thwack! There was the sound of breaking glass to the right and, unbelievably, slightly behind the tee. My son stared at me, obviously impressed, but not in the way a father might hope.

I'm now searching for a cruise with an enrichment program teaching self-esteem.

Geoff Edwards is a veteran TV host and radio personality who has received Emmy nominations for best game show host and TV talk show host. More of his travel articles can be found at www.nospintravel.com [1].