Are school bans on hugging justified?

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Tasha A student

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I beleave that hugging is very stuped 2 ban. our school has doen it and i dint undersant. im wrighting a perswasive essay in CORE and will be persenting it to the prisipale of our school. i found this web sight wile looking for facts about hugging and i just wanted 2 state my opion. docters even say that hugging is a theripetic way 2 make some one feel better after they get hurt eather in ther heart or even pisicly :) Tasha

Not being able to give a hug goes against my family values

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In a healthy family environment, a child is shown affection. Over the child's development, they are taught to give and receive affection to family and friends. Kids in preschool and elementary school give each other hugs and can hug a teacher. Now when the child reaches middle school or high school, the rules have changed. It is like teaching the child to walk backwards. Therefore it does go against my family values. As a family we HUG! It is like asking a Muslim to not wear a cloth wrap around their head. That would go against their religious values. Here is an example of my complaint: My daughter was warned at her middle school that if she gave one more hug, she would get a written referral. That same day she wanted to say goodbye to a friend who was moving out of state and her way of saying goodbye is by giving a hug. She almost cried because she could not do it and a teacher was watching. Plus, a close friend was crying by her locker and she was very depressed. Again, my daughter wanted to give her a hug of support. Is this right? In my opinion, NO! If a hug could bring comfort to a child in need, it's wrong? In adolescent development, it is stated that "Teens are more likely to express feelings by ACTIONS than by words". What is even more confusing is my daughter went to another middle school 10 miles away and they did not have a no PDA rule. So if you want to fight this, like I am, first speak to the school principal. If they are not willing to take any action, file an offical complaint with the school district. Lastly, speak before your local school board.

High School, Washington

Local School boards should say...

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Hugs by definition can be construed as third party sexual harassment. We scramble around trying to defend lawsuits that may or may not come. Concurrently we look at the kids and put judgments on one hug versus another. We need to model appropriate behavior need to stop negative behavior. The local school board should govern hugs. I believe that local policies should trump frivolous lawsuits. If the local districts can articulate a community standard than you should not have to worry about a lawsuit. Those that think that unfair… tell them to run for office. We should have less time defending lawsuits and more time teaching the kids!

Administrator in NJ

Whats next?

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Some of what we do in educational institutions is ateach and inform students on acceptable behaviors and promote respect for personal space. We can't blame tardiness on hugs nor can we legislate affection. We need to address the time management issue and the respect for personal space issue, not the actual behaviors. I have been to schools where far worse than hugs have created bottlenecks in the hallways. We should learn to appreciate a little PDA while promoting responsibility. Seriously, ban on hugs? What's next, Avatar learning environments? You see what happened in that awful Bruce Willis movie.

Awkward and weird

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It sounds so strange to me to comment on a human behavior so natural and common to my country's culture, that is being banned in another country. People can show respectful affection everywhere!What schools and other institutions must do is to keep an eye on the excesses, then take measures,not the opposite. It' s like killing the cow to prevent ticks from sucking its blood.

It sounds so strange to me to

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It sounds so strange to me to comment on a human behavior so natural common to
my country's culture, that is being banned in another country.
People can show respectful affection everywhere!What schools and other
institutions must do is to keep an eye on the excesses, then take measures,
not the opposite. It' s like killing the cow to prevent ticks from sucking its blood.

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Herman
Awkward and weird
It sounds so strange to me to comment on a human behavior so common to
my country's culture, that is being banned in another country.
People can show respectful affection everywhere!What schools and other
institutions must do is to keep an eye on the excess, then take measures,not the opposite. It' s like killing the cow to prevent ticks from sucking its blood.

Nothing wrong in regulating behavior that's disruptive

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Schools are a carefully balanced microcosm of our society. There are two issues that I see - disruption of orderly progress and appropriate/ inappropriate behavior. If students stop in hallways and impact other students' passage, "break it up!" Whether they're hugging or laughing, they can't congregate. The other pole is students in a corner, disrupting no one by their presence, but the behavior is inapproptiate -"break it up" again.
On the other hand, a spontaneous casaul hug impacting no others' passage - well, okay.

6th grade teacher from Stockton, California

Do we have to regulate this? Probably some.

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Our district went K-8 over the last three years. Now we have about 65 7th and the same number of 8th graders on previously K-6 campuses. The tiny number of middle graders are literally a step away from one another in classes; yet at passing periods and lunch, you'd think they hadn't seen each other in months! There are dozens of these awkward, unsmiling, not really sincere bump-hugs passed around -- mostly for dramatic effect. Especially with the girls. But our boys are getting in on it, too, and some have taken advantage of it. On our K-6 campuses, the only hugs we used to see were sincere hugs when students really needed them: they were physically hurt on the yard, they were coping with sad news, they were ecstatic about happy news, or those sweet hugs that little kids exchange with friends spontaneously. Now, however, the middle graders' behavior is trickling down. When our recess bell rings, there's a bunch of silly, time-wasting hugs among our 6th graders. (I even had to put my foot down when they started walking across the classroom to hug each other.) I agree that real hugs are terrific for everyone, but what I'm seeing is "hugs for show." If I were a parent and saw this insincere timewasting, I wouldn't be pleased. And the new problem? Six of my "frequent huggers" got sent home for head lice over the last two days. I think part of our responsibility as adults is to guide students toward a mature understanding of how we should respond appropriately to situations in life. "My best friend just told me that her grandma died." That's a hug moment. But, "I haven't seen you since lunch!" That's not.

6th grade teacher from Stockton, California

Do we have to regulate this? Probably some.

Was this helpful?
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Our district went K-8 over the last three years. Now we have about 65 7th and the same number of 8th graders on previously K-6 campuses. The tiny number of middle graders are literally a step away from one another in classes; yet at passing periods and lunch, you'd think they hadn't seen each other in months! There are dozens of these awkward, unsmiling, not really sincere bump-hugs passed around -- mostly for dramatic effect. Especially with the girls. But our boys are getting in on it, too, and some have taken advantage of it. On our K-6 campuses, the only hugs we used to see were sincere hugs when students really needed them: they were physically hurt on the yard, they were coping with sad news, they were ecstatic about happy news, or those sweet hugs that little kids exchange with friends spontaneously. Now, however, the middle graders' behavior is trickling down. When our recess bell rings, there's a bunch of silly, time-wasting hugs among our 6th graders. (I even had to put my foot down when they started walking across the classroom to hug each other.) I agree that real hugs are terrific for everyone, but what I'm seeing is "hugs for show." If I were a parent and saw this insincere timewasting, I wouldn't be pleased. And the new problem? Six of my "frequent huggers" got sent home for head lice over the last two days. I think part of our responsibility as adults is to guide students toward a mature understanding of how we should respond appropriately to situations in life. "My best friend just told me that her grandma died." That's a hug moment. But, "I haven't seen you since lunch!" That's not.

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