Is bullying a significant problem at your school?

For the last thirty years I have served as teacher, mentor, facilitator, and/or administrator in a hand full of public and private schools in the Western MA, as well as many private industry and corporate settings. What appalls me must about this issue is not that the students are front and center stage, for they certainly have a part. Rather in many incidents of bullying and plain out disrespect I have witnessed first hand teachers and parents as the true lead actors in this increasingly dysfunctional drama. Whether its on school grounds, in parent teacher meetings, in class rooms or in the board room many students have had many incidents where the learning of dysfunctional behavior comes from the very adults that are critiquing the play.

My fear though will be the moral out rage and the indignation or some of my colleagues who feel that because they are overburdened, underpaid or under appreciated, frustrated with work conditions or what ever fuels their belief that this some how entitles them to abuse and bully students into compliance. Yelling and screaming, does not move a person into understanding or accepting responsibility for their actions, rather gains a false sense of control and ownership for the moment with the student and adults only repeating the same undesirable behavior.

If we truly expect bullying and similar behaviors to be reduced we had better do a better job of demonstrating the behavior we expect in the students and adults we work with if we want a better classroom or community environment. The simplest acts of responsible and respectful interaction create the true reflection for the community we so desperately want for our selves as well as our students. All we need do is stay on script, we know the performance that is required, our students and communities deserve our best.

Cyberbullying has become a big problem where I teach. We found a movie created by a Stanford Graduate student to be effective in dealing with this problem. It's called, "Adina's Deck," and is geared particularly towards middle school girls where the problem is running rampant. It can be purchased through the website of the same name. It's worth a look!

I was just wondering if the school you attend in Sarnia is Lambton College. I'm currently a student there, and I am a huge advocate for anti-bullying programs and preventative measures. If nothing else, please know that you are never alone! People do care.

I've been bullied my whole academic career by teachers. I will try to write a book on it in the next couple of years. I've filed a human rights complaint against the college I'm currently attending. The bullying started in grade 5, again in 8, again in 10, 11, 12, 13. Its also happening in the college I'm attending now. But now I've gotten lawyers involved. I'm currently in school in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada. Remedies I have, only lawyers. If you have a concern for yourself or your children, read up on bullying. The information is out there. And DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Times, places, who was there, what happened, doctors notes, and seek some professional help. Some doctors will give you a discount if you can't afford their fees. I also recommend enrolling your kids in martial arts of some sort. Its a great way to learn about yourself and develop self esteem. If you meet with a teacher(s), document everything, if its about a teacher bullying your child or you, go over the teachers head, the principal. And go over the head of the principal too. And go over their head too. Keep going up the chain up command. Someone will eventually have a remedy. Hopefully we'll get this under control.

yes this does exist but i never thought it would happen to my daughter, she is being bullied by boys shorter than her, she is 5'11 and slender build, she is also a professional model so they do not understand why she dress the way she do or cant help that she is tall, they say the same thisng to her, Nya you so tall and she is so passive. I hate that she has to go thru this but she is a very strong young lady for a 16yr. old

I believe that bullying is not just more of an underground phenomena, but there is also overt violence (fighting, etc). At some schools (I work with failing schools in south central Los Angeles) fidhting is so widespread and common, that it has become more an issue of policing than of schooling. Yet, if educators (teachers, administrators) do not see overt violence as an issue of bullying (threats, etc.) and treat each incident not just as a police matter, but one that effects everyone, then a sense of community can happen. This is what is necessary to address the real concerns of bullying and violence at the school level.

There's more to bullying then what occurs in K-12. What about the bullying that continues on into higher education, where academia is allowed to continue on as the last bastion of feudalism. The way some professors treat their graduate students and junior faculty is no less than extreme bullying.

No, it isn't a problem anymore. We had some instances of it about two years ago but with careful consideration and use of the Olweus program, it has dissipated. Most of our students are respectful. Those who aren't, we look at the home situation and try to work out the problems with therapy for the child.

The definition of"bullying" oday is and always was "teasing". Yesteryear we just said" Oh they are just teasing." These were over matters of dropping a pencil or shoes that came untied. Other cruel things just were not said. But in today's ease of morality when "booty" is just a regular ol'word the line in a song, the days of respect are gone and another line has been crossed to just say those " crule comments" and that is "bulling"! We as adults are not correcting those who are "bullying." I feel that as a parent my concerns are seen by other adults as over reacting to "teasing." I have taught my children through their Orthodox Christian Faith and morality our beliefs of right and wrong. My children and I have to "decompress" everyday the issues of bullying after they return home from public school. My frustration is over other children who lack the examples that society expects of them. Girls at the age of 7 are cruel and are bullying. I have personal experince with my daughters. Any ethnic sounding name (Greek at that) creates huge amounts of bullying. I stuggles with maintaining my daughters heritage. A growth sprut that make one taller and "heavier" ( FATTER) then others adds fuel. Girls start it younger with words. As for the boys I have seen their actions being more physical. I do miss the days of Mayberry with Opie and Andy. Welcome Back Kotter was the begining now Boston Public. What next?

Our coed, independent day school, grades 6-12, experiences relational aggression (group exclusion, rumor mongering, verbal cruelty) in Middle School primarily and seems to fade away by 10th grade or so. We have an advising/mentoring (upper school mentors) program in place to raise awareness of the problem and teach communication skills and as well as a parent program that does the same. When we began our program a few years ago, we asked the school community (students, parents, faculty) to come up with what we called Norms (values) that we would all support (respect for others, honesty, tolerance). It all looks good on paper but kids are very good at operating below the radar so I can't say it's over. With each new group of kids who arrive on campus, there is a new dynamic each year who need to learn new skills and have their awareness raised. That's the meaning of working in a school, I think - teaching kids what is appropriate, valued, important, and some skills for getting along in a way that creates real friendships and promotes kindness in our community. It's never-ending, and necessary for faculty and parents, as well as students.