Bullying in the Middle School

I am very frightened for our country as I see many adults lacking in compassion. Children must think this is normal. Television shows have not helped teach manners and common sense and courtesy. It is a privilege to teach the arts and introduce beauty to children. Our entire nation reveals a lack of culture, literacy, love of learning, language and reaching out to one another. There is blame and name calling. Where has all the kindness gone?

This bullying may be a reflection of adult behavior. Politicians talk about not allowing teachers who are in certain "categories/groups" to not be allowed to teach. Adults talk about certain groups of people being "sinners" while others are not. What is with this ignorance and arrogance. This is not free speech. This is lacking in critical thinking and creates fear. This message of one group being superior and another being inferior is certainly heard by children. I believe this adult homophobia has trickled into the schoolyard and contributed to the already pre-teen lack of sensitivity which exists in that age group.

Not bullying is taught at HOME. The by-stander and doing something cruel to another person should never be kept a secret and every school should be safe. PERIOD.

Teachers MUST talk about current news story's which affect every teen all over the world. Children have the right to know that it could be them and that it is very real and can happen to them. The school is just as responsible as the home because children are at school longer than they are home.

As a parent I expect teachers to re-enforce what I do at home to teach compassion through literature and social studies, and as a teacher I expect the parents to re-enforce what I am doing to teach compassion and manners in the home.

It has to take a village. Or it obviously just does not work. Let's get it together, America.

Bullying in not just a problem for Middle and High School Students. I teach 1st grade, and I see it starting in my grade level. Luckily I work with a group of professionals who do not allow this kind of behavior and we work very hard to teach these little ones better ways to communicate.

I also think many parents would be surprised to know that their child is bullying another child. Communication between teachers and parents is so important. As teachers we need to communicate to the parents not just about academic observations but also about the child's social skills. Parents should also communicate with teachers about major events happening in the home. To help reduce bullying in schools, everyone must work together to solve this problem.

Joe,
You bring up an excellent point about bystanders and the power they consciously or unconsciously give to the bully. A couple of years ago I was teaching a literacy course called Academic Literacy, which used themes of safety, health, social justice, and community to boost literacy. While we covered themes such as bullying (both physical and cyber), we also felt it necessary to cover the topic of the bystander effect and how it related to empowering the bully. By using news clippings and anecdotes, we were effectively able to make students aware of these issues.

I think that there are many instances in which teachers have not been vigilant about face-to-face bullying that has been going on since there were schools! The victims feel powerless because they don't feel that there is anyone who'll do something! I recently retired, and I was known as a watchdog of sorts for the oppressed. Several times some of my students used to bring their friends who were not my students to tell me what was going on because they assured the victim that I would do something! I also had many class discussions about the consequences of posting damaging things online. I have to say that I didn't see many of my colleagues doing much of the same thing.

Though bullying has always existed; and will most likely continue to exist throughout the foreseeable future, I believe the impacts it is capable of creating has been amplified exponentially as technology becomes an increasingly pervasive force in our lives. Never before have threatening acts of harassment and ridicule been so easy to perform on a large scale.
I am unable to propose a solution the dilemma. Banning the use of technological devices in school would be counterproductive, not to mention ineffective (as teachers and administrators are powerless to control external cyber-bulling).
I agree with notion of maintaining a strict non-bullying policy, enforced with severe disciplinary measures enacted upon offenders. I also concur that suspension is not necessarily an effective deterrent.
However, such strategic plans fail to address the fundamental cause of the problem, the bullies themselves, or more specifically, the reasons why bullies bully. Of course, there is a wide range of motivating forces with the potential of leading to the adoption of tactics intended to intimidate and torment.
This simply leads further questions. What are these factors, and why are some children able to overcome them without resorting to bullying behavior? Does a child’s genetics predispose them to the activity? What can be done to solve, or at least alleviate the predicament we are currently faced with?
It will require the combined efforts of teachers, administrators, parents, and other community leaders to effectively address this problem, yet I believe safe, community-based schools are a realistic goal worth striving for.

Mr. Halligan presented at my school earlier this year. He was absolutely amazing, and held the attention of our entire school. The students were deeply touched by his words. He even gave an evening presentation to parents.

I feel our students benefited from this type of presentation. It was real, not just the teacher in the room leading a discussion.

I addressed this topic in a recent column that I write for my local newspaper. Here is the link, because it would be too much to cut and paste here:

http://www.wickedlocal.com/concord/news/education/x1777800239/A-DAY-IN-T...

Basically, I feel that too much of the conversation around bullying prevention focuses on the role of schools and not enough on the role of parents. I believe there is shared responsibility for sure, and other Edutopia members have done an excellent job of responding to this question, especially regarding what schools and teachers can do, so I won't repeat what is already posted here. However, I do think there should be more education for parents. If you're interested in this view, you can read more via the link above.

Thanks, Heather, for raising this. The topic of bullying is finally garnering the attention it has long deserved.

I wanted to contribute to this conversation as someone who was bullied in elementary and middle school. My clothes were made fun of, my desire to have all A's, my nerdiness, my weirdness, and my lack of coordination. Some of these things I could help, I didn't have to be a suck up or the teachers pet, I didn't have to have all A's. However, some of these things I couldn't help. Many days in 5th and 6th grade I would come home crying because of what someone said. Of course, that was 15 years ago when we didn't have cyberbullying or text messages. I could come home and escape from my bullies to a home that was loving and safe.

As I spend time reflecting on this time and talking about it with my students, I realize that the bullies didn't really go away, nor did they stop saying things. I eventually stop caring so much of what they thought of me. I started surrounding myself with people that actually cared about me and doing things that I cared about. I began to be okay with who I was and what my interests were. I began to see what my life would look like after I left middle and high school.

I can get very overwhelmed with what my students say and do to each other. I can get very angry and very sad. Some days when they leave my classroom, I want to weep at what they are doing to each other. For me these feelings can be consuming and almost paralyze me into doing nothing, but what I can do and control is what I say to them about bullying. I share with them stories from the news of what is happening with bullying. I share with them stories of my life, even the one of a former bully marrying my little sister.

More than anything, I can create and environment that allows them to be themselves and care with them and tell them I care about them, and what to help them or point them to people that can help them. I can stop the name-calling in my classroom. I can create a positive environment where I use positive language and encourage them to do the same.

I am not saying that it works all the time, because I am definitely not perfect. However, I know that when those students know that someone cares about who they are and who they are becoming, it helps them not feel quite alone in whatever happens in the hallway or on the internet.

I would agree with Heather on what middle schoolers are thinking about who they are. We have to continually create an environment that allows them to discover that. And that starts with the teachers and what they do in their classrooms.

Help! I need advice.

I am currently teaching separate gender classrooms of 8th graders in an English immersion program at a private school in Mexico. I am experiencing classroom difficulties relating to bullying that I need to address. Today after a class game a bully prodded an angry kid until he reacted by jumping on him and choking him out. The boy's face was blue when we got the fight broken up.

My principal sent all boys involved back to their next period five minutes later and told me that she would call the parents this afternoon. I tried to convince her to do something more and not to let them back into class. (I'm not allowed to call the parents myself). She sat down and showed me the videos of three in-class fights that happened before and told me that she wasn't allowed to do anything about those, and that we cannot keep a student out of class.

My current plan is to disobey orders and not let them back into my classes until they finish a really detailed internet research project, one on bullying and the other on anger management, including personal reflection.

Meanwhile, I intend to spend significant class time on the issue of bullying (as I said, there are other instances, and the bully mentioned is only one of three major bullies in a class of 17).

Help! I need resources, suggestions, and other things that I haven't thought of. What internet sites do you suggest? What questions would you have them answer? Where can I find Olweus style anti-bulling resources for free? (I earn pesos.) Got any suggestions for classroom activities?

Hi Shari,

We understand that educators have limited money and resources. On Edutopia we have lots of free resources on bullying. Feel free to dive in and share them with others.