Bullying

Beth, thanks for the post. A very interesting topic indeed. I've been teaching for ten years and each year I see an increase in the lack of social skills. WHy? Well, fist and foremost, the amount of "stuff" that needs (I say needs because it is coming from the higher ups who have never stepped in a classroom.) to be done increases, eating up all of the time. yes, there are some teachers like me who can weave curriculum and social skills together pretty darn good, but it is rare. It's either you have a socially intelligent class lacking academic skills or a academically strong class with no connection at all. Both weaknesses lead to a dangerous society. You can blame it on poor parenting, teacher ineffectiveness, hollow administration, the list goes on.

There's no one way to fix it. I think it has to be handled in the classroom and at home consistently and persistently according to the human beings in the class. The kids will determine what action and preventative measures need to be in place. And it's not making a zillion rules in the classroom, either. I have one rule in my class: "Think, then make a good decision." No consequences. The consequence will fit the violation if I need to enforce the law. I like this one too: "Work hard, be kind."

Gaetan

Bullying is such an emotionally-laden topic because its very nature is so distasteful. I developed a workshop entitled "We Don't Have Bullies Here" that helps develop a culture that diminishes bullying behavior. One important and helpful issue for me is to remember that all behavior (even irresponsible behavior) like bullying is purposeful, engaged in to satisfy basic human needs. A second issue is the notion that everyone is doing the best they can. Yes....that includes the bullies. Maintaining this mindset allows me to remain in the role of teacher rather than settling for the role of enforcer. My role is to teach children with inadequately developed skills how to meet their needs responsibly without resorting to harmful behaviors like bullying. When we create environments (school, classroom, home, community) where kids can get what they need without bullying, it virtually disappears. (If you want a bit more information about the session I offer, go to the "presentations" page of my website: www.internalmotivation.net I hope this helps.....

I hope you'll read my new article, "Getting at the Roots of Bullying," published by the Virginia Journal of Education. It examines how to prevent bullying from occurring and how to intervene when necessary. Here's the link:
http://www.veanea.org/vea-journal/1010/index.html

We try to educate the children on what bulling is physically,verbally and socially. We try to make them aware it is not to be tolerated and steps they should take if they are bullied or witnesses to bullying in their school.We work on the difference between tattling and telling and try to support anyone who experiences bulling in any way.
It has become more difficult with the technological onset of cyberbulling and the world of text messaging.
WE are also hampered by a test crazy school culture which never gives our kindergarten children a chance to socialize and learn social skills,before worrying about their writing and reading skills.
Thank you for providing a much needed outlet to share ideas on this very important topic.

I've also seen a downward spiral of parents trusting teachers and the kids (talkin' third graders) know it. When I went to school (Never thought I would hear myself say this) it was, "What did you do to the teacher?" Now it's, "What did the teacher do to you?" All eyes are on teachers right now and Hegemonic demons are rubbing their hands and licking their lips.

[quote]I've also seen a downward spiral of parents trusting teachers and the kids (talkin' third graders) know it. When I went to school (Never thought I would hear myself say this) it was, "What did you do to the teacher?" Now it's, "What did the teacher do to you?" All eyes are on teachers right now and Hegemonic demons are rubbing their hands and licking their lips.[/quote]

I am sorry to say ,Gaetan is correct. The respect once accorded a teacher no longer exists.The parents,in many cases,believe their children,even if they are six years old,over that of the teacher. Sadly in some cases so do the administrators.

I am troubled by the direction this conversation is taking. While it is filled with truths, building bridges between educators and parents will do nothing to effectively address the problem of bullying. We need to build connections and relationships with parents, not vent our righteous indignation.

I also think that many of these aggressive, unsupported parents have been victims of bullying themselves. We often psychologically bully parents, creating an unproductive environment. And many of these people are bullied at work or elsewhere in their lives. As "wrong" as it is, they "take it out" on us because education is an easy target. My goal is to understand, get past the anger and misunderstanding, and build a positive relationship so we can help kids.

Without revealing too much about my age and Woodstock orientation.....can't we all just get along?

Bob, I totally agree with you. I'm not stating that's what I want from education. I'm just adding info to the discussion. Yes, we can all get along. I have an open door policy in my classroom. Come one, come all. Let's work together and educate our kids to form a more perfect World. Right? The sad truth is that government is pushing their Hegemonic policies on the parents, which pits them against teachers, instead of with them. The government fills parents with hate by blaming the terrible economy on teacher greed. (Well, in N.J.).

Thanks for the conversation. BOb. Conversation is always productive.

Beth, I also agree that bullying is a huge problem! I'm in a teacher Ed. department right now finishing up my last semester before student teaching. As part of the program we do 80 hours of internships each semester. I had kindergarten last year and I was shocked by the amount of bullying that actually takes place not only in the classroom but on the playground and outside of school as well. As a future educator I hope to handle it differently than I've seen some teachers. I've seen teachers in the past that actually start the behavior. The students see the teacher put down a child and then follow the example. It's a sad reality that must be changed.
I think the only way to stop this is to have a zero tolerance for bullying at school AND at home. I will not allow any child to put down any other student in my class and I will make the punishment for doing so very clear. I have seen this in place and it really seemed to work. Hope things get better for your daughter's class!