Digital Generation: Parents

Sage Advice from Parents

How do you teach your kids to be safe online? » Read All

First, we model our behavior online. Children's learned behaviors tend to mimic those of their parents or caregivers. If we use the Internet ourselves in a responsible way, we are modeling good behavior for our children. Second, parents must monitor their children while they are using the Internet. With parents present and involved, children can learn which places are safe and which are unsafe. Just as we teach our children to practice caution before leaving the house and riding their bikes to explore the world, so, too, must we teach them to protect themselves in this 21st century, where technology is ever present.

Atiera Ransavage
Educator and mother of a seven-year-old girl • Stockton Borough School • Stockton, New Jersey
My son, age 13, started going online with me while he was still a toddler. He would sit in my lap while I was doing searches and such. As he got older (5-6) and wanted to go online, I began talking with him about the Internet sites he wanted to visit and about what information he should share while online. Also, my husband and I chose to place our computers in the living room in plain view so we can monitor his online activities.

Denise A. Garofalo
Mother of a 13-year-old boy • Newburgh, New York
Today's students have no fear about doing stuff on computers or online. Though this confidence can lead to safety issues, there's a lot to be said about being free to try and learn something new. Adults always taught me not to experiment with computers. They assumed that I would learn first what to do and then do it, which has led me to be incredibly cautious about everything to do with computers and stuff online.

Stephanie Saez-Hamilton
Technology trainer • Hillsborough Schools • Tampa Bay, Florida
As a parent, your job is to personalize the remote messages on Internet safety your kids hear in school, to make the subject important in your home and to your family. Print a weekly report of your child's online activity and look over this report with your child. Question him about any sites he visited that you are uncertain about. Talk about the activity that isn't in dispute with comments such as, "I see a lot of history sites. Is that because of your report on Alexander the Great?" Let him know you are aware of (and care about) what is going on in his life.

Robin Scott
Mother of an 11-year-old boy • Birmingham, Alabama
Online safety has a lot to do with parent involvement. First, we allow Internet access only in public places such as the living room, the kitchen, or the family room. Second, online and email contracts between child and parent are vital. It not only opened doors to many discussions but also helped her understand the responsibility that came with this new-found "freedom." Included in the contract is the understanding that Mom and Dad will always have full access to any of her Web and email accounts. We access her accounts throughout the week and help her navigate through spam and email communications with friends while giving her guidance -- even when not asked.

Kim Haugo
Library media specialist and mother of two girls • Osseo Area Schools • Maple Grove, Minnesota
I continuously tell my kids that they have to be careful with the words they choose when talking to friends online. I also tell them that any pictures and words they post on their Facebook or MySpace accounts can and will be used against them. If they wouldn't say it to their grandmother, then they shouldn't be saying it online to their friends. I have no tolerance for bullying (be it cyber or face-to-face). In addition to using netiquette and being appropriate online, children have to screen their friend requests in Facebook. They need to know who is requesting them as a friend and why before they confirm someone as a friend.

Lita Motroni
Parent of a boy in middle school and a boy in high school • Business and secondary school special educator • Scituate, Rhode Island
Teach them not to reply to people they do not know. Talk about possible scenarios that they might encounter online. And, most important, listen to your kids when they talk about their issues. Don't preach or try to fix problems, because sometimes they just need to talk about their feelings. If you don't listen to them, they will find someone who will.

Linda Rowland
Teacher • Robert Louis Stevenson Middle School • St. Helena, California
As a parent, I use a sophisticated proxy server named Integrity Online to filter search requests for my household of surfers. Between children, friends, and cousins, there are users ages 2-18 searching the Internet. Integrity Online has faithfully prevented many "oops" incidents for many years. This service is understanding enough to provide rapid review of requests so you can unblock legitimate sites that are being blocked.

Michael Hurst
Educator • Rigler School • Portland, Oregon
We are a new independent school for students who have learning-style differences such as dyslexia or Asperger's syndrome. All have at least average intelligence. We do have one alum who is now earning all A's at his high school. That being said, our kids can find unauthorized sites quicker than lightning. Such sites are everywhere. We do have parental controls on, and we have a list of which sites they can access. However, the negative sites seem to be more colorful, engaging, and attractive than the approved ones. Some of them would make you ill. Whatever you could do to make the educational world safer would be a tremendous boon to this community.

Kathy Farrell
Head of school • Vista Preparatory School • Andover, Massachusetts
It's simple -- micromanage their every move! No violent games, no pornography, no crap. My kids use the Internet for research on topics we discuss ahead of time, and then we go to relevant Web sites together. Also, while you're at it, get that damn TV out of your kid's bedroom! I was a "good" kid, and I watched all kinds of garbage on TV when no one was looking. Peace!

Craig Cooper
Assistant principal • Hazen High School • Renton, Washington