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Teaching Kindness: More Than a Random Act
February 8, 2013 | Lisa Michelle Dabbs
It's been a long time since I was in elementary school. But I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I wasn't the cutest, skinniest or best-dressed girl. I wasn't even a popular girl, but I had an advantage; I could sing like "nobody's business," and my teachers loved that about me. As a result, I think I was spared the bullying that could've come from classmates due to my lack of the aforementioned qualities.
Times were tough in the late '60s. Maybe not as bad as what some call the "mean-girl phenom," experienced now by many, but it was there. So I think the fact that my classmates knew how much my teachers liked me may have spared me from their belittling.
Not true for all girls in my class.
I'll never forget one who was not spared the pain, the hurt and the bullying. She was easy prey: short, overweight and not very attractive. Most days she pretended to be tough and take the bullying in stride, even though I saw the tears that were privately shed.
I did my best to defend her when I could. But my actions were rare. Most of the girls in our class -- and boys, too -- were relentless in their pursuit of pain, the kind of pain that was inflicted mostly through name-calling, taunting and ridicule. This was especially true at recess time, when teachers were not easily accessible, or when they deemed it to be "child's play." We were only 10 or 11 years old at the time, but the hurtful actions projected by some classmates against this girl were alarming. No child should have to experience this kind of bullying, and yet, sadly, it happens every day, even at our best schools.
The Kind Campaign
Recently, I ran across a post about the Kind Campaign and their film, Finding Kind, and I knew that I had to share it. It struck a chord in my memory of the hurt my classmate endured and came back to haunt me.
Take a minute to watch an excerpt of this moving film:
In Finding Kind, filmmakers Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson, who met while in school at Pepperdine University, set out in a cross-country journey of discovery and education. Interviewing women and girls along the way about their lives and experiences, Parsekian and Thompson find, among all of the unique personal stories, some universal truths about growing up as girls.
Finding Kind is a document of that journey, and of the filmmakers' quest to take these experiences and find a common ground of kindness and mutual respect.
In addition to all of the individual girls and women who share their personal experiences about girl-on-girl bullying, Parsekian and Thompson include interviews with respected experts and authors in the fields of psychology, education and the interrelationships of women and girls.
It's clear that the Kind Campaign is taking their message to the streets and sharing it across the world, and I believe that educators should do the same.
Eight Steps Toward a Kinder World
As a new teacher preparing to enter the classroom, or as an experienced one, you're going to encounter potentially volatile situations between students on any given day. That said, you should be prepared to work through it with your students, prepared to support the teaching of kindness which, for many students, will be just as important as any other content area you teach them.
Let's look at a few ways we can support teaching kindness:
- Take part in the Random Acts of Kindness Week, February 11-17, 2013.
- Immerse yourself daily in modeling the teaching of kindness in your classroom and school site.
- Find resources for your students that can promote the work of kindness in their lives at school.
- Get students involved in creating lessons on the subject and incorporate journal writing, video production and podcasting in delivering the "kindness" lesson.
- Check out what indie film makers Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson are doing to take the mission of kindness to schools across the U.S.
- Schedule a screening of Finding Kind in your own school or neighborhood.
- Watch and share this video on The Kindness School that's inspiring students and their communities.
- Do everything you can to be a warrior of kindness with your students!
What are you doing to teach kindness? What strategies do you have in place to de-escalate the issues when they hit? How will you protect the students in your care from gossip or bullying? What do you still need help with? Leave us a comment, and let us know!
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Comments (14)
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Although bullying may be more
Although bullying may be more prevalent between girls it is also important to remember that more and more boys are also being bullied. It is a problem that young people have to face whether they are the bully, victim or bystander. It is important to note that the percentage of young people committing suicide is rising and that should not be accepted by society.
Bullying is a sad thing. It is great when people take a stand against bullying, but it should happen every time that bullying behaviors are seen. Teachers are mandated reporters therefore should be reporting when it happens at school because bullying can be classified as verbal or physical abuse. At home parents need to play a larger part in monitoring what their kids do online and if an issue were to ever arise, talk about it, and give appropriate consequences. Kids should hold each other accountable as well, not feed into negative pressure, and stand up against bullying.
This was indeed a much needed
This was indeed a much needed post. My youngest school age child shared with me an incident in class that involved two classmates teasing each other; at first they both thought it was amusing as each student thought of ways to tease the other at a much faster pace then previous (in order for the other to not have a "comeback" )and suddenly this teasing started to include race, physical features and cultural stereotypes, at which one child no longer thought this bantering was amusing. What was interesting to me was my child telling me that when one child wanted to stop the other child continued, and the teacher began to take notice (at this time) and considered this bullying. The students tried to explain the whole story but the teacher refused to listen and disciplinary action was brought against the student that didn't stop, but nothing happened to the one that did. My child was confused with what the school explains as bullying and what occurred in class.
Teach Consciousness...
Children today, as did we, learn their ABC's, but what about learning about themselves and then how they interact with others. Would another child step up to the bully and protect bullied?
Conscious Dimensions LLC. is dedicated to making a difference in the world, by educating as many as possible about the life-transforming power of conscious awakening, to live a life of whole-hearted receptivity and compassion for self and others for the continuation of all life. We feel this can be done through technology, entertainment and education.
Our group is in the process of getting support. Little bit of an uphill climb. But older folks go to corporations and more often than not get trained in Meyers Briggs or DISC. Why are we not helping students to find out about themselves as students?
Would love to hear thoughts on this from teachers! And by the way, I am practiced in consciousness, but continue to learn, and really learn from the materials created for these games!
Please check out this article
Please check out this article with some important information regarding the lasting affects of bullying from childhood into adulthood. It has some valuable resources for those who are dealing with bullying or have dealt with this in the past. http://www.healthline.com/health-news/bullying-affects-victims-and-bulli...
So often for us girls, it's
So often for us girls, it's our own friends who do cruel things each other. One girl perceives a slight, and the only thing the other can think to do is retaliate. After watching my daughters struggle with this, I wrote a book for elementary age girls about rising above hurt feelings and dealing with the issues, without causing more hurt. Check it out at http://talkingtreebooks.com
Kindness
What an inspiring post! I am currently involved in a PLC in my school that is focusing on Character Education. We recently had a group of local athletes come in to present about the prevention of bullying and it was well-received. I look forward to being able to preview the film "Finding Kind" and presenting it to my group of colleagues to see if this is something that they would be interested in presenting the student body. I would also be interested in talking to them about Kindness Week this week. Again, thank you for this timely posting, as students today have so many issues to deal with, many of which have to do with peers who are not nice to each other.
Thanks so much for your kind
Thanks so much for your kind words. Let's keep the kindness movement alive daily!
Thanks so much for sharing
Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful video! I tweeted it our just now to share with the world! Give my best to all your kind souls at MJGDS. :)
Fourth grade trouble
Thank you for your article! I am so appreciative of the ideas to use in my classroom. I teach fourth grade and the boys in my class can be very unkind to one another. Their words and tones of voice are jarring. I hope that I will be able to make an impact by using some of the ideas that you have in your article. The positive results are heart warming.
Our 3rd graders created this
Our 3rd graders created this collaborative video about kindness in our school: http://vimeo.com/59413894