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Global Virtual Classroom Program Manager

God - Santa

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While teaching in a private school, where we did teach the darlings that God was always watching.... It was a few days before Christmas, 2nd graders needing to walk 'quietly' down the stair so as not to disturb other classes. Of course they couldn't, so I stood at the bottom of the steps, looked up and commented: "I sure hope Santa wasn't listening!"

"You're not Helen Keller, you

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"You're not Helen Keller, you have no excuse to not be listening to me!"

"You've already gone to the bathroom 6 times today, maybe I need to call your mom so she can take you to the doctor. I hear they give biiiiiiig shots for urinary tract infections. Still have to go?"

Creative Communications instructor in Winnipeg, Canada

These are 20 things I've said

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These are 20 things I've said at the college level.

Teacher, Author, Guitar––Word.

Walk and don't touch each

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Walk and don't touch each other.

Voices off unless you are

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Voices off unless you are bleeding or on fire.
Everybody farts it's a part of life let's please finish this story.

Talking with Middle Schoolers...

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A cougar? You mean the animal right?

After being repeatedly

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After being repeatedly interrupted during guided reading group (and the kids know better):

"If you're not throwing up or bleeding, don't come over here!"

Elementary Music Teacher College Station, TX

"Is it a real emergency?

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"Is it a real emergency? Like you're going to pee pee on the floor right now if you don't go?"

First grade teacher, Wisconsin

Here are a few: "I'm sorry

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Here are a few:

"I'm sorry that your brain hurts, but that means you're learning!"
"Was that a cold prickly or a warm fuzzy?"

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