We share evidence-based K-12 learning strategies that empower you to improve education.
Boys are given love, honor, respect only on condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, status. etc. Boys are not given nice, kind, stabilizing support necessary to grow up mentally and emotionally sound to compete in the information age, but are given more neglect, distance, and more harsh body language, handling, and verbal intimidation to make them tough. All of this is given Male children from infancy and on through school and adulthood.
Since Girls are not required to be tough, they are given love, honor, respect, kindness, and support simply for being girls. They are lavished with much close, kind, supportive body language along with much kind supportive verbal and physical mental/emotional/social support from infancy that create many accumulated, very stable, mental/emotional/social and academic skils. It is this great differential treatment that allows girls to mature faster than boys and to go on to college in greater numbers with more preparedness.
Oh, those boys goofing off are those Males who have been disenfranchised from a young age and who are showing their immense rejection of the system that has been forced upon them with preparation sadly differential and more harsh for those Males. They are seeing persons who have been indulged from an early age take credit while they were forced to trod more of an obstacle course just to told they didn't work hard enough or were simply not intelligent enough.
What we need to face and help guide is the parents of these boys. They are either ignored emotionally and psychologically and treated as if they can exist under the guise of "Boys will be boys," "They will be fine," or parents go overboard and coddle the boys to the point they have no desires or ambitions.
There are no guidelines or "laws" to direct parents toward raising strong, self-confident males.
Girls on the other hand, either yearning to be like those boys for their own self-doubt or they take the riens and achieve where no boys have in the 21st century.
What to do? Relate. Video games are what society has created and more boys than girls gravitate toward this fantasy, interactive, characterization, faux war mentality. Teachers and parents must take the lead and turn these games into literary novels. By relating with these games plot and purpose parents and instructors alike can find a connection toward Interactive Fiction and reading and writing in a response format. I am in the makings of reporting on this research and may very well prove this to be one way boys can jump on the academic wagon to success in their future.
Females are not required by society to be strong, it is considered proper to not only protect them and provide mental, emotional, support and skills to do well in the information age. Girls are also given love, honor, respect, and support simply for being girls. This makes learning and development of skills and competing for jobs somewhat easier for they are given the essentials of self-worth simply for being girls. All of this makes girls "very well prepared" to compete in the information age. This support and protection continues even into adulthood.
Males and also Females (who tend to reflect for some reason their protected world upon Males) really do not understand how differential treatment from day one is providing Females with such an advantage that is creating the Growing international Male Crisis.
Males are given love, honor, support, respect, care, etc. only on the condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, etc. This is what makes Males very competitive; they are competing for feelings of self-worth as reflected upon them by society if they have sufficiency of those things. When they are doing anything they are being weighed and given only the amount of love, honor, respect, and support commensurate with those achievements. Those Males who do not have sufficiency are not only given less of those good things, they are given more aggression by society. This creates a lot more pressure on Males to either succeed in academics, which is good; and if they cannot, then they will search out a more protected and supported area in which they will have some feeling of love, honor, and respect from their peer group.
Since our society is still following even in the information age, the belief Males should be strong, it still allows much aggression upon Males to make them tough. It also holds that Males should not be given mental/emotional/social/academic support, love, kindness, and care for fear of coddling the Male. This is so the Male can become a good little soldier to defend family and country. The problem with this idea is that it creates high average stress that impedes learning and creates along it more tension that leads more activity in Males and far less attention to mental/emotional development. This is why girls appear to mature faster, for Males are not given the same mental/emotional/social supports. This higher average stress and lack of supports accumulate to create a large deficit in learning for Males.
Now in the information age, Males are competing with Females who have been well supported from day one and Males are beginning fall behind big time, especially from women in their 20's and early 30's.
Men are not only losing jobs, they are losing out on feelings of self-worth, namely love, honor, and respect from society. It is plainly spelled out in the media that when Males appear weak, it is okay to give them more verbal aggression, more abuse, and more neglect. Since Men have been brainwashed to believe they are better (perhaps deserving of more harsh treatment and neglect) they are now finding out that in real life such treatment is somehow helping women to succeed above them. Given the horrible myth of fixed intelligences taught in our society or simply working harder, many men are falsely believing they are less intelligent and/or not working hard enough.
Folks, by understanding how our individual environments "do" greatly affect thinking, learning, and motivation over time, we can then help all students, - yes, and only by understanding this can we begin to take steps to help everyone improve, especially Males who are falling behind to due to more harsh treatment and mental/emotional/social neglect.
We need to see mental stress more accurately as “layers of mental frictions” that accumulate in our lives and hurt our ability to think and learn. By redefining average stress as average layers of mental frictions, we now have tools to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions and improve thinking, learning, and mental/emotional health. Some things do not create mental stress at all. Laughing, crying, running, and swimming are not good stresses but low, if any stress. We are using energy, but we are “not creating mental frictions” from it. In this definition, “stress does not occur” when energy is expended without mental frictions. Also by seeing stress more accurately as layers of mental frictions - layers of conscious and subconscious (below the surface) unresolved mental frictions, we can see how our individual environments then greatly affect our ability to think, learn, and improve. We can use this better definition of stress to help students and adults continually improve their ability to think and learn by learning how to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions.
The first tool: stress is more accurately defined as layers of mental frictions. When we are performing mental work, our minds are also subconsciously working on other layers of mental frictions from various problems, circumstances, etc. All of us are working on different amounts or layers of mental frictions that impede our ability to think, learn, and develop skills over time. Try to picture an upright rectangle representing our full ability to think and learn (Figure page 5). Then begin drawing from the bottom, narrowly spaced, horizontal lines to represent layers of small and some large layers of mental frictions our minds may be working on consciously and below the surface or subconsciously. The space we have left represents our leftover ability to think, learn, and grow mentally and emotionally. The length of this space also represents our length of reflection time or time to think more deeply to consider long-term rewards or consequences for a course of action. This shows just how our individual environments greatly affect our ability to think and learn. Persons with high layers of mental frictions will have to work harder to receive the same mental reward for mental work expended. Ask yourself, which makes more sense, are we just genetically more or less able or do our individual environments greatly affect our ability to think, learn, and develop skills. For our own good, we need to recognize how our individual environments greatly affect ability and how we can more permanently reduce mental frictions to continually improve thinking, learning, and mental/emotional health.
This tool provides a way to permanently reduce layers of mental frictions. We need to do more than just solve a problem creating a mental friction. We need to look at the elements that create problems and the values that may be creating those problems. Then, we can begin to understand a more each day how the elements of our circumstances, responsibilities, and problems are creating mental frictions as they come up. Then with a small change in a weight or value we are placing on something in our lives and developing a mental principle or rule in a certain area of our life we can then resolve and more permanently remove that layer of mental friction. By slowly understanding how layers of mental frictions are created, we can then learn to approach those elements in our lives more correctly to keep like mental frictions from occurring in the future. This enables “all of us” to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions that hurt our ability to think and learn.
With each more permanently removed layer of mental friction we will continually improve thinking, learning, and extend reflection time (think more deeply, with more complexity, and more correctly). Remember, to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions we need to change the principle or value that created that mental friction, “not just solve that problem” to prevent similar mental frictions from occurring. For problems related to circumstances and responsibilities, you may see how such obligations may be necessary. While the problems may remain, the mental conflicts you had will be removed. For problems, which do not fit in with our values or weights, it is up to each one to decide whether to approach that problem differently or change a weight or value related to that problem. This will more permanently remove layers of mental frictions. This will also improve sensitivity and awareness to information.
The box on page 4 shows how layers of mental frictions hurt ability to think and learn over time. The space left over shows our leftover ability for thinking, learning, and performing mental work. The more space we have the more we are able to think in more complexity or abstract thought. The top of the chart shows how very high layers of mental frictions can create psychological suffering and create many escapes such as drug/alcohol abuse, violence, and suicide. The line on the top left represents our length of reflection time. A shorter reflection time and psychological suffering can lead to many harmful escapes that would not occur had there been lower layers of mental frictions before that situational stress had occurred. By more permanently lowering layers of mental frictions, we can prevent many deadly forms of escape and increase our reflection time or time we take to think, plan, and make decisions.
As for psychological suffering: as a person accumulates “very high” layers of mental frictions, he begins to experience two bad things; he experiences psychological suffering and his reflection time shortens - His desires, goals, enjoyments, and methods of problem solving become more simplistic, short-term, and less thought-out. The psychological suffering and much shorter reflection time create a powerful need for relief. This condition then makes drug/alcohol abuse, the catharsis of violence, and suicide more appealing in view of the immediate, temporary reward or release from layers of mental frictions such escapes provide. By helping students and adults maintain lower layers of mental frictions, we can help prevent the psychological suffering that leads to many harmful escapes. Too bad this wonderful technique is not being used in school today.
Second tool: the myth of hard work is beneficial only when performing old work (skills already mastered), not in performing new mental work (skills in process of being learned). There are misguided beliefs regarding mental learning when they attempt to compare mental learning with physical work. As a result, we have many sayings such as “Just believe you can do it." or "Just put your mind to it" and you will succeed. These phrases sound good but still follow the harmful teachings of fixed intelligences. The attitude of hard work when performing a new mental work impedes learning. As our pace and intensity in approaching mental work exceeds our immediate knowledge and experience, we create much greater mental friction and further impede our ability to think and learn. This hurts both short and long-term motivation in mental areas for students by reducing mental reward received for mental work expended. This also shortens our length of reflection time (ability to think more deeply). High layers of mental frictions may also “cause” students to approach mental work in an incorrect way or try too hard. I feel if we were to have a point of perfect stability then the dynamics of approaching mental work (academics and other learning material) would be approached in a more perfect dynamic way: the child will more naturally approach new mental work more slowly at first. As a person gains knowledge and skills in an area, his pace and intensity will increase naturally with equal enjoyment of learning. With more mental friction or less stability, that added instability disrupts or causes the child to be less focused and/or use the added mental energy or mental friction to try too hard or apply too much effort in relation to those mental frictions. Many children need to be taught the dynamics of approaching new things more slowly to help offset the improper tendency of trying too hard or applying too much effort. This only hurts motivation or mental reward received for mental work expended. Both problems of high layers of mental frictions and improper pace and intensity accumulate over years to creates large deficits in learning for many students and adults.
Approaching mental work correctly is important for students to learn and enjoy learning new knowledge and academics. The little girl said "This goes here and that goes there." had the right idea. In time, she will know where this and that goes and will learn more advanced skills with equal enjoyment. In the physical world, we may work hard; in the mental world, we need to work easy. The dynamics of approaching all mental work correctly affects every aspect of our life. The dynamics of approaching mental work correctly should be seen as a skill we should use at “all times” and enhanced with training. By teaching this skill, we will greatly improve reflection and planning skills for students and adults.
By lowering layers of mental frictions and changing pace and intensity in approaching newer mental work, we will increase motivation to learn and develop more complex mental/emotional/social skills over time. These tools will create the mental reward received for mental work expended or long-term motivation, intrinsic reward, and love of learning that are vital to being a life long student. This makes a student better able to compete in the information age. Students who begin this process late in life will still lag behind their peers in knowledge, confidence, and experience in certain areas. However, using those principles, a person can begin to catch up and even go ahead of his peers. After correcting my speech impediment, I did this.
By showing students how their individual environments greatly affect their ability to think, learn, long-term motivation to learn, and grow mentally and emotionally, students will have much more respect and esteem for themselves and for others. By providing students with tools to approach their lives more delicately and differently to continually change and improve their abilities, students will then have a continuous hope of developing in time, many if not all of the qualities they admire in others over time. Students will then have a continuous hope of changing and becoming better, newer persons with each passing day. This will reduce much hopelessness, many harmful escapes and other problems created by our horrible teachings of fixed intelligences in school such as dropouts, drug/alcohol abuse, catharsis of violence, and suicide. My complete learning theory will go to all on request by e-mail – firstname.lastname@example.org
Boys are not given the mental, emotional, social, and academic support the girls are. The extra aggression they receive creates more defensiveness (SD's for strong words and tones that hinders receptiveness to listening and learning; higher average stress that leads to more active behavior; along with more giving up and acting out to cover their feelings of inadequacy. This only causes Males to accumualate a large deficit over time. Yes, the converse of much attention and support for girls and opposite treatment for boys hurts boys much over time.
One professional was attempting to find more role models for Male children. He boasted that a Male child’s esteem goes up when they have one positive role model. What he was unknowingly saying was that Males have such little attention that when they do receive that attention, they are very grateful. This creates the large rise in esteem. The fight for attention could be creating misbehavior in Male children. The truth is in today’s world, little boys need just as much coddling as the girls and just as much mental, emotional, social, and academic support as the girls.
Males will not roll over. All of the physical training to be tough they are receiving opposite of the more proper treatment for girls will come back on society in a very big way. Their continuous torment from school being told they are inferior or not working hard enough; making minimum wage and talked down to while performing those duties with grace; being unable to care for themselves and others they love; and slowly being worn down by the media that casts a blind eye on them; and seeing Female peers over them with equally less respect and acting with more aggression toward them is enough to wear down anyone’s feelings of self worth.
Yes, until society begins to respect persons based upon just being good persons, there will be more and more persons willing to hurt others to achieve that warped sense of self worth society and the media are feeding to them each day. I imagine the time will come when as a group, Males may find it even an honorable thing among their peers to die in some way demonstrating some feeling of self worth rather than suffer as they do today. I suggest you request it.
Where society has failed boys in creating stable, caring persons, it will have succeeded in having taught boys how to give their life in dubious, courageous ways to achieve feelings of self worth. My learning theory shows how to correct this growing problem.
There is a growing gulf in communication between men and women. The nineteenth century belief man should be strong has allowed increased aggression upon Males from day one. Along with this aggression allowed is the idea of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps that denies much in terms of mental, emotional, social, and academic supports from day one. The help usually given involves something to help make Males be strong as in sports or other physical competitions. While this type of treatment may have proved useful in the more physical nineteenth century, it is working opposite of need in the information age where it requires much more accumulated mental, emotional, social and academic skills acquired over time. In these areas, Males are being seriously shortchanged.
There is another area this kind of treatment is doing harm to Males in the information age. The increased aggression they receive from day one, creates two bad things for Males: 1. It creates higher average layers of mental frictions (redefined from higher average stress) which inhibits thinking, learning, and motivation in mental areas; 2. It also creates the Male ego or defensive cushion that the Male develops from an early age to protect them from the aggressions they receive from society. This Male ego or defensive cushion has the negative consequences of further alienating the Male from “any” various mental, emotional, social, and academic supports they “might just” receive from society.
The combination of higher layers of mental frictions and defensive cushion are working to create an impediment to learning that accumulates in harm over time. In society today, men are given love, honor, respect, and support or the essentials of their self-worth only on the “condition of sufficient” achievement, money, power, status or image. They must fight through the still present, nineteenth century confrontations allowed by society upon them from an early age to achieve those benefits and feelings of self-worth.
For women, due to the nineteenth century belief women should be protected and still in effect today, has created much overprotection and even indulgence for many women today. This iscreating very low layers of mental frictions collectively. This makes thinking, learning, and motivation mental areas much easier. This accumulates over time to create much more acquired mental, emotional, social and academic advancement in many areas. In addition to this protection there is the continual mental, emotional, social, and academic support from day one that also accumulates over time to create much training and advancement in information age skills. These two continual supports from society over time create nearly everything a person needs today to succeed in the information age. Since women are given through overprotection, even indulgence, the benefits of love, honor, respect, and continual support, all of the benefits of self-worth from an early age without qualification (simply because they are girls), they are working with much more continual support, attention, and interaction to accumulate more continual mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills that can be transformed easily into money, power, status, and image. Even after this support, society’s protection, continued support and view toward beauty and charm continually helps them in the information age.
The combination of this differential treatment has now created a tremendous gulf between men and women today. Women are now surging ahead academically and economically due to this protection and men are still puzzled as to why they are falling behind in those areas. You see if you remove the old money from older men, the girls are making more. The current beliefs believed by both men and women today is that Males learn differently and/or simply do not try hard enough. These beliefs only add to the gulf between men and women today. The men who believe this and have not information to the contrary may believe they are somehow mentally inferior or just not working hard enough. Somehow, humans, men included, tend to reflect the treatment in their lives upon others and do not know or not allowed by society to say how differential treatment is hurting them. This may lead Males to give up in developing various mental, emotional, social, and academic skills over time. They may limit their interest and desires to smaller windows of fulfillment in their social connections. They will continue to dress up for display, their Male defensive cushion to at least present a plausible image when dealing in areas where they are not as competent. Worse for these Males, they may advance their beliefs and feelings onto their sons from an early age, thus enabling the continuation of the harmful belief of inferiority in the information age.
As for women, they having been told the same teaching that persons are naturally better in some areas or simply work harder. They may truly feel they are simply more intelligent or have worked harder to achieve what they have achieved. In our world, again women like men often reflect their environment and treatment upon others and so do not appreciate difference in treatment. Also, in our world of insecurities, it is no wonder when women achieve, to boost their insecurity, as affects everyone, they will believe this achievement is due to more intelligence or greater effort on their part and not due to any environmental variables.
This differential treatment has now created a tremendous gulf in communication between men and women. You see, as Males develop from allowed aggressions over time, this treatment operates upon their body language, words, tone, inflection, and voice stress. Over the years, due to this kind of treatment, there is a type of richness added to their words, tones, and inflections that denotes perhaps a higher form of feeling and compassion for others, again reflecting their lives upon others or just valuing others more so. Of course there are also Males due to so much aggression over time who have turned their values around so that nearly any means are okay to justify an end usually for self gain.
As for women, the overprotection given women from day one collectively operates upon their body language, words, tone, and inflection over time. As such attention can do to anyone, this will usually create words and tones that are more light and less rich in tone, inflection, and voice stress. To the Male, (including myself) this may appear less substantive or less rich in feeling or compassion when trading such words of conversations with women. Such words can even unintentionally feel patronizing if given too lightly or with less feeling at various times.
I believe as a result of such differential treatment, men are now looking at women only within the window of areas in which they truly feel there is mutual interest and competency. I do not need to explain this part. I feel however, women due to not having knowledge of those differences in treatment, may too often reflect their values and desires upon men with the woman's much larger window of acceptance. Here is where women make their big mistakes. The men hide their shortcomings very well to achieve their small window of interest, while women hide their feelings of superiority to achieve their window or interest. Many women truly believe they are more intelligent and can control things to achieve a happy family with the man as a supporting member. However after the men have achieved their end, they will not be able to hold up their false defensive cushion on a continual basis. The women due to feelings of intellectual superiority will usually then become more open in their natural advanced mental, emotional, social, and academic development. These two truths will collide eventually, leaving one or both sides either perplexed or angry.
Young girls tend to choose inappropriate marriage mates because boys who honestly portray their instability (due to society accepted mistreatment)are more rejected by the girls. Since the boys know this, the boys who are usually selected come from three groups: (A) boys who have been sheltered and have not yet received their confrontations; (B) boys who put on the appearance of stability in order to sway the girl; and (C) boys who manage to acquire a somewhat stable life by emptying their life of a measure of circumstances, responsibilities, and weights or values. Young and older girls are usually the last ones to learn this information. Girls have not been told these differences exist.
The girl can protect herself by mapping out how her perspective mate deals with his angers, circumstances, responsibilities, along with weights and values he applies to elements in his life. These are natural human emotions and traits; they should flow naturally. A boy who does poorly in these areas or worse, appears to hide these traits, is unconsciously giving the girl a message of warning. This information is vital and necessary for preventing teen-age date and domestic-marriage violence.
Today, the gulf in communication between men and women is growing more deeply each day. For men, those who are trying to lead a more decent life, from the confrontations they have experienced, they are usually very compassionate and caring persons, whose words are rich in tone and inflection. For many men though, there is the value of the world, where society’s lack of values toward them have made them less caring or compassionate. Such ones may develop a very fluid personality designed to create whatever image is necessary to accomplish their immediate ends. Too often women make the mistake of seeing the more compassionate men as weak and the more brisk or bold (more like the overprotect women) as strong.
For women there are many who desire to have both a family and a career. They are filled with the language of social and academic education they have been supported with from day one. They reflect their lives from their close reflection of themselves upon others and then look for Male companions that match their lives. However, their lack of true compassion and feeling for others that comes from such overprotection spills out continually through their body language, words, tone, and inflection. The freedom of expression allowed for women to give verbal, silent abuse, an hollow kindness even toward a third party (such a waiter), also presents a huge obstacle for women, especially when such comes out when dating. You see if men see it one time, they can expect it again toward them some day.
Also a biggie for financially successful women: men have faced confrontations from day one. Men do not expect goodness and support from society. They have learned from continuous aggressions from society to expect more aggression from individuals where they are perceived as weaker in some way. This is why men cannot allow themselves to present weakness in some manner for it invites only more aggression from society. They are given love, honor, respect, and support only when they demonstrate to society sufficient achievement, money, power, status, or image. When they see a successful woman, usually more successful than themselves, they learned to expect verbal, silent abuse, or hollow kindness/ patronization (lol; I have received this kind of treatment simply from just their perception of me as more humble and mild).
For those women who are less educated and attempting to lead a more caring life, perhaps by experience of more hardships there is greater sincerity of words, tone, and inflection. These differences are felt. These women are truly to be commended for they are bucking the model that is presented in the media today. They may still be susceptible to men who put forth an image seeking only a small window of interest.
For me, I see so many insecure persons, both men and women, who are trying to survive. I see the media hurting everyone by fostering the idea of power struggles without care or consideration for others. I see the rewarding of strength at all cost and domination as the key to maintaining viewer interest and support.
Due to the advancement of the information age and the continual increase in domination by Females in white collar positions, I see the media now much more dominated by women who have saturated the airways from very light, tinish, and seemingly patronizing words, tones, and inflections to very strong, hard biting words. Society’s protection for women allow these kind of expressions with impunity. I do not value such words. Due to the confrontations I have experienced, I find them less valuable, even counterfeit. Perhaps this is why many other Males are tuning out from the media. I am though a very caring person. I feel for everyone. However, I know there are many persons, who respect only strength and power and see mildness, kindness, and goodness as some weakness. I see bank tellers, postal clerks, grocery check out persons, and even civil servants, using their society protected freedoms of expression to give verbal, silent abuse, and hollow kindness, usually to those individuals who the most sincere. I feel this gulf between men and women cannot continue for very long. I am intelligent and can deal with anyone. I just will not allow my words to be exchanged for counterfeit words. LOL; Fortunately for me, I grew up with a speech impediment so rejection is something I have a great deal of experience.
My complete learning theory will go to all on request by e-mail email@example.com
i think that it;s true
What do you mean? I think there must be some underlying issues here. What state sponsored attack?
I have noticed that education has changed since my childhood. Schools require a lot more involvement from parents. My children often bring home armfuls of homework and projects. Structure and perseverance begin at home.